I’m Still Standing

Many of you may find it interesting to know that most days, I have a theme song playing in my head. Generally, it is a song that pops up on the radio and pings my inner happy for the day. Other times, it is a song that speaks to my inner fighter and inspires me to keep on keeping on. Over the past few days, my theme song has been “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John. If you can’t remember how it goes or you need a refresher, click on the link below before you read any further because it sets the vibe for the entire blog.

This past weekend, I attended OBX Pridefest on the Manteo waterfront. It was the venue at which I chose to release my new novel, Eden’s Edge. But even if I had not chosen to be a vendor there, I would have attended.

 I love Pridefest on the Outer Banks because it is a laid-back family event. The people there are always friendly and remember you from year to year. So, it’s kind of like a big family reunion in a lot of ways. This year, I really needed it. With Covid and its many restrictions over the past 18 months, many Prides have been cancelled and I have missed the joy, comradery and celebration associated with it. I needed music, dancing and drag queens!

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Late in the morning on Saturday, I went out to set up with the other vendors so we could be ready when Pride officially opened. I smiled when I saw all the booths of colorful merch and the various corporations that had come out to show their support. The vibe was already there and I was diggin’ it.  When I reached the spot where our tent was to be set up, I was excited to be placed beside a wonderful group of people from Truist who immediately started playing a playlist that dared you not to dance, and across from a tent occupied by the Episcopal church with wonderful signage that reminded us that “God loves you. No exceptions.”

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While my friends and I set up our booth (we were selling my book as well as two of my besties hand-made knitted goods and hand-made jewelry), a boy around ten years old approached us. I guess we assumed that he was with a vendor since the event had not officially opened . He asked about jewelry first then started talking about politics. After that, he began to call us names and tell us we were disgusting and going to hell. I, at first, did not know how to respond. He dredged up bullying memories from my childhood and I was angry. I wanted to respond in like manner to him but, after a moment, I remembered he was a child and simply responded, “God bless you. Move along.”

Now I am used to protestors at these events. They generally share their narrow-minded beliefs peppered with hate…all in the name of God. I almost never let them get to me because it serves no purpose. But this kid got to me. How could someone so young already be indoctrinated with so much hate? It bothered me so much that he almost ruined Pride for me. Then, the song “I’m Still Standing” started playing in the booth beside of me and the words were like medicine to my heart. As Elton sang, “I’m still standing, better than I ever did, looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid.” Joy began to rise up in my spirit. I said to myself, “I AM still standing.”

I made up my mind in that moment that no narrow-minded naysayer was going to steal my joy. I took my focus off him and his hateful words and I started seeing something truly beautiful. I looked across the crowd and saw people like me who have faced bullies and prejudice celebrating their authentic selves (a feat many like myself struggled to achieve.) I saw a beautiful group of friends who had traveled hours to support us. I saw young people walking around in their festive attire, free to express themselves without fear for the first time. I saw the church embracing them; loving them; supporting them. I saw allies embracing and celebrating us. I felt true pride at the way this group of humans came together in unity, acceptance and equality.

In that moment, I finally had the clear, definitive answer to the question I hear more than I care to admit, “Why do you have to have Pride? Why do you need an entire month to celebrate your lifestyle?” (Sidenote: I hate the word lifestyle as a descriptor of sexual orientation. It insinuates choice where there is none.)  We celebrate Pride because of the bullies then and now…to show them that they did not win. We celebrate Pride because most of us never imagined that we could one day stand proud and publicly celebrate the beautiful creations we are. We celebrate Pride for the men and women who went before us and fought for our right to be recognized, accepted and celebrated. We celebrate Pride for the young people who are coming after us so they don’t have to spend one minute longer in a closet, hiding the beautiful creations that they are. We celebrate Pride because we have faced hate in some of its ugliest forms and WE’RE STILL STANDING! We celebrate Pride because we believe love wins and love trumps hate every time. And if that offends you, the problem is not ours.

I finished the day, having made new friends. I supported artisans and musicians. I watched grandparents attending alone searching for ways to support their newly out grandkids. I saw people from all walks of life and sexual orientations celebrating love with one another. I even renewed my faith in the church a little bit. Then, I spent an evening with friends having tacos and margaritas and playing Cards Against Humanity. Pride had been good. How could it get any better?

Then there was Drag Brunch. What better way to end a wonderful weekend than with Joey’s Juice (a wonderful cocktail named after the waiter who created it) and drag queens! I adore drag queens! Their art is so amazing, underrated and, often times, not adequately appreciated.  For two glorious hours we heard witty banter and motivational words from our tall, fire-haired hostess, Delighted Tobehere, and watched drag numbers that were so extraordinary they defy description. But more amazing than that were the families there with their children, enjoying themselves and celebrating the art and us. The joy and feeling of inclusion and acceptance was almost overwhelming. This brunch was definitely the cherry on top of an amazing weekend.

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So, as I finish this blog, I want to leave you with this message: love and embrace the beautiful creation you are, just as you are. ‘Cause he made you perfect, babe. Love and embrace the beauty in others just as they are because God don’t make no junk.

Accept nothing less than love…give nothing less than love…and in the words of the fabulous queen, Delighted Tobehere, “Go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated.”

Everybody say LOVE.

Health, happiness and good vibes to all!